I give up...

More downs than ups this week in the life of motherhood.

and I feel

subdued...

quiet...

There are a few scenarios involving teens and a mom that I am rewriting in my mind... the mom is a lot more thoughtful in the revised version - a good listener - she doesn't resemble a tasmanian devil at all.

But, sometimes, I forget that it's not about revisions or improvements...

but, instead, it's about

less of me

and more of Him.

He must increase, but I must decrease - John 3:30

I know that I can't try harder - instead I must give up.

Does that sound risky? I'm willing to give it a try. I'm willing to give up my way.

I feel that, too often, I am missing another way.

A way that nudges but doesn't push.

I seem to recognize it after I've gone in like a whirling dervish to make things better.

Maybe if I stepped back, and listened, I would hear something unexpected

a fresh insight

a deeper understanding

a new direction

a very present Help.

hmmm....

that feels less like giving up

and more like gaining...


Paul prays this way for the Phillipians

"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God." 1:9-11

That's my prayer today.